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there is nothing set in stone [21 Nov 2005|12:12pm] Use all your power to free the senses from attachment and aversion alike, and live in the full wisdom of the Self. Such a sage awakes to light in the night of all creatures. That which the world calls day is the night of ignorance to the wise. -Bhagavad Gita 2:68-69 I was having trouble with something. Leading people on without any real intentions... So I thought about it long and hard and realized that I can only do what I know for sure makes me happy. And.. I can only go after what I want. If some get hurt along the way... Eh. I know I will eventually get hurt too. I can only feel bad for so long. My little sister is so disappointed in me. Look: "if people i admire are so prone to disaster. what does that say about me? i don't pretend to be a good person, but i'd like to think i won't betray my own morals. why are we so damn vulnerable to temptation? " I know I shouldn't have gone about things the way I did. I know I let myself down. Still, i don't really regret anything. My sister sees it as wrong for a different reason. She's comparing me to herself and her situation. Which... hello! are completely different. She's with someone she loves, and can't see herself wanting anyone else. I'm with someone I don't know, who goes on tour all the time, and really.... apart from drumming and tattoos, I don't have much in common with. Eventually she'll understand and love me again. No matter how silly anyone thinks it is, her opinion of me matters more than that of 'Ak' or 'An' or anyone else. The only thing I felt bad about was hurting tom. And even then... I'm talking to James about that. I know in an ideal situation, I'd go after someone without inhibitions. But honestly, guys apparently like the chase. So I'll show an interest, but not to the extent I want. We'll see what happens. <3

2 are on their own ¬ there is nothing set in stone hey there [20 Nov 2005|08:41pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | alanis ] Name 5 of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick 5 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used. Tag 5 people on your list. 1. spending time with people i love 2. cuddling with a sweet boy 3. playing drums 4. calls from my best friends 5. dancing naked on my bed to fall out boy songs I tag: anna tony dave alexis ally

5 are on their own ¬ there is nothing set in stone [16 Nov 2005|08:56pm] Damn it. I erased my entry. From what i remember... HOLY SHIT. This week has been both beyond amazing, and kind of.. weird at the same time. I went to Gainesville, saw Liz and Heather (i love those girls), met christie and goldie, hung out with andrea, had fun... came home, cuddled with my rabbit, ate food, worked out, did my hw, took two tests and got horny... got phone calls from arik :D played drums, deposited the check, received the biggest blast from the past imaginable. had some yummy eye candy, did okay on my chem test, read, smiled all fucking week. i loved it. drank yummy tea. i'm a soymilk chai latte girl for a while at least. became officially vegan. BECAUSE.. most of the crap i eat now is vegan anyway.. so might as well. I bought arik the walking dead 3, got myself the panic! at the disco cd :D and a drum book to help develop better coordination! :) i'm having an awesome week. <3

1 are on their own ¬ there is nothing set in stone [31 Oct 2005|01:15pm] Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed? When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress? Then think of what you did And how I hope to God he was worth it. When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin. I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat? No, no, no you know it will always just be, me Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster So testosterone boys and harlequin girls Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? So testosterone boys and harlequin girls Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off? (Let's pick up, pick up) Oh now I do recall, we just were getting to the part Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick. I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention. Now let's not get selfish Did you really think I’d let you kill this chorus? Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster So testosterone boys and harlequin girls Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? So testosterone boys and harlequin girls Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? Dance to this beat Dance to this beat Dance to this beat Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat? No, no, no you know it will always just be, me Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster So testosterone boys and harlequin girls Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? So testosterone boys and harlequin girls Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? So testosterone boys and harlequin girls Dance to this beat So testosterone boys and harlequin girls Dance to this beat And hold a lover close Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster

1 are on their own ¬ there is nothing set in stone here's what i got today [13 Oct 2005|01:29pm] Both renunciation of action and the selfless performance of action lead to the supreme goal. But the path of action is better than renunciation. -Bhagavad Gita 5:2 Interesting. So take action?

10 are on their own ¬ there is nothing set in stone [05 Aug 2004|09:18pm] public apology for earlier bitchyness to: liz and loren. because i love them. everyone else fuck off.

there is nothing set in stone [05 Aug 2004|03:19pm] I need to figure out what happened. And who I am. So I'm not talking to anyone until I get back. All my "friends" are being erased. beacause i don't talk to you anymore. and maybe i don't need to. peace.

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